incendiary

This one get’s another 5/5.

Simply because, I’ve never been in love, but the feels hit me right in the damned chest and fell out of my eyes as tears.

The movie begins with Jenny, an aspiring music journalist fresh out of the initial stage of denial of a break up, hilariously laying it all out to a complete stranger in the train station.

The leather jacket, boots and mascara streaming down her face made for an excellent paradox of a situation considering Jenny was dressed to kill, but she wasn’t in the mood for killing anyone because her heart had just been ripped out of her chest by her 9-year boyfriend, Nate.

She’s devastated.

And rightly so because:

a. Um, hello? it was a 9 year relationship.

b. Nate was a snack, and he was a real nice guy. You normally don’t get those two together in the same package deal.

c. They broke up because they decided they couldn’t do long distance.

Which honestly sucks if you ask me, and a pretty dumb reason for a breakup, considering they lasted a solid 9 long years through a whole lot of love, sex and stupid fights.

Nate was an honest-to-god dream boy, Jenny the dream girl, and together they were ‘that’ couple. The couple that everybody thought would make it till the end-like with marriage and kids and shit.

But not all things are meant to be apparently, because SPOILER ALERT! Jenny and Nate don’t make it.

I even waited an extra three minutes after the end of the movie to make sure there was no extra footage of them being together three years later, happily married with a kid.

But um, nope. Didn’t happen.

Can’t say I wasn’t disappointed because I absolutely shipped Nate and Jenny together. Their relationship was an absolute delight to watch, the way their relationship evolved over those 9 years was portrayed so brilliantly.

It was honest and raw, with its fair share of the ugly parts. But there was only one word to describe the depth of emotion between them- beautiful.

Then the movie progressed to the best part- the sisterhood of best friends.

Jenny, Blair and Erin.

Man oh man these girls take friendship to a whole other in terms of having fun and just doing things together.

I absolutely adored Matt and Blair together, Erin was really sweet with the tough girl exterior (I found Leah so understanding, I wished she was my girlfriend and not Erin’s.)

This movie made me cry, especially the part where Jenny understands and accepts that her life wasn’t just about Nate. She writes him a letter-sort of- and that was so beautiful it made me sob harder.

Want comfort after a breakup?

Someone Great’s the movie for you.

“Who are we to say what’s true and not true in the mind of a true believer?”

Two words.

Brie. Larson.

ASDGHJKLMJNHBGLVFCDKWEFRGTNHJLHNG BVC .

Kill. Me. Now.

Kit. Is. My. Soulmate.

This movie gets a 5/5 just for Kit-AKA Brie Larson.

She’s so adorably innocent and naive, it makes me want to rid myself of her cuteness by laughing and screaming in joy.

That sentence sounded so much better in my head.

Anyway.

First things first.

Dude.

The Salesman-Samuel L. Jackson- is a MOOD.

The glittery ribbons in his Afro hair, the pink suit, and the unconditional devotion to his belief in the existence of unicorns is literally, I think, safe to say, ME.

Like Sam LJ man. That dude can do some serious acting.

Like who’d have thought that Nick Fury from S.H.I.E.L.D and the psycho Preston Packard from Kong: Skull Island could also be a devoted, pink-suit-wearing, sparkly unicorn lover and seller?

Did you think he could?

Because I sure didn’t.

Like damn bro. You good.

And let’s get back to Kit.

SHE IS SO CUTE!!!!!

Okay that’s it.

Brie Larson is my soulmate.

If y’all still reading, this is my marriage proposal. All you social media pop stars spread the word far and wide.

Now back to the plot of the movie.

This was Brie Larson’s directorial debut and frankly I think she’s done great- though I feel she’d have done better with a movie with more serious undertones than just ‘following one’s dreams’.

Though I’d also like to say that her debut as a director has already got me screaming- maybe that’s just because I’m biased as a Brie Larson fan.

The plot follows Kit growing up dreaming of adopting and owning a unicorn someday. She doesn’t actually grow up per say considering she still wants a unicorn aged 22.

But she shows strong character with her stubborn determination in getting what she wants- in this case, a unicorn, and that honestly is by far her most endearing quality.

And then Virgil makes an entry *sighs* he’s the it-boy for Kit considering how much he puts up with her demands to build her a stable for her unicorn.

Oh and let’s not forget Kit’s clothes.

Honestly, if there were parts in the movie that dragged a bit, the only solace for you would be Kit’s innocent straight face while wearing her funky clothes and charging through life’s lemons with a unicorn horn.

And that’s it though, this review’s spoiler free so be sure to check out Sam LJ’s glittery hair and Larson’s awe-inspiring performance in ‘The Unicorn Store’.

Honestly, I think I’m on a roll with all these Rom-Com Netflix movies.

If you’re already tired reading this then I suggest you mentally prepare yourself for two more blog posts about the simpler things in life- movies.

This one would have to be a 3/5 for me.

It pulled through in aspects of the cutesy relationship between Noah and Laura-the Vanilla thing was adorable- but the movie fell flat with the whole Noah being a liar thing.

I can kind of understand his drive to want the best for himself.

And before you judge me for not seeing his character flaw of not knowing the difference between saying a white lie and constantly white-lying (that’s not white anymore, it’s just lying), I’d like to say that he had his reasons-even though they were extremely shallow and immature.

The movie flew by fast though, and I absolutely adored Murph and Turkey Melt.

Then Franklin Volley was a mood throughout the movie, that dung-beetle thing had me laughing for like five-bajillion years (JK it wasn’t THAT funny-actually wait, it was).

So the movie, to sum it up in a few words was- Pour Over(I agree, coffee is divine), dung beetles (still laughing about that one), the Vanilla (*squeals*), Turkey Melt, bad dancing, and money.

It was a fast one hour and a half for me, can’t say it was 100% worth it, but it was a solid 63%.

IMdb’s a scam y’all. Trust me.

Yes, I very much think they do.

The universe isn’t just the universe anymore, it’s become the multiverse now.

Times are changing and we’re fast approaching an age were phrases like ‘Nothing is impossible’ and ‘Possibilities never cease to exist’ are simple truths to life like the sun rising in the east and setting in the west.

That’s scary if you think about it, but that’s just the way things are.

A few thousand years ago, if you’d told humans then that there’d be flying aeroplanes and smartphones they’d probably scream ‘AARGH!!’ and feed you to their latest animal friend- a lion or maybe a shark too.

I like to think of this question as a parallel between two worlds, in our Homeverse (our universe) we’re sitting and wondering if life exists outside our planet, when at the same time somewhere else deep in the folds of the multiverse, there’s another universe (Alienverse) where ‘aliens’ are thinking the same thing except, to them the word ‘alien’ would mean us.

I think that’s wonderful.

The idea or fact that god didn’t just extend his hand to create the Homeverse, he created the Alienverse, -DCverse, Marvelverse to name a few- and so many other universes.

And besides our minds are living testament to the fact that aliens in fact do exist.

Ever watched E.T, The Last Mimzy or Prometheus?

Of course aliens exist.

Hell, we ourselves are aliens.

There are quite a few of us who’d like to make lists or organised outlines of the things we plan on going about doing on a particular day, week or month.

I am one of those people.

I’m kind of OCD and I like my things planned, organised, and stress-free.

So most of the time-be it exams, programs, studying, writing, even reading, I make these annoying, god-forsaken ‘To-Do Lists’ that I-by god- NEVER follow.

Like all things planned, my ‘tasks’ consist of me having to put a considerable amount of visual, mental, and physical energy into doing them, so my best-friend (please note the sarcasm) laziness makes an appearance, and all that planning goes to shit.

Honestly, the amount of pages, pen-ink, and sticky notes I’ve wasted making these lists would probably be enough to support an entire nation’s stationery needs.

In conclusion, ‘To-Do Lists’ kinda suck-like by 10%.

Because, in truth actually they don’t, it’s more like-I suck because I can’t make them work.

What does it make me if this blog post was a task on my To-Do List I just crossed out?